Question: I'm considering mediation, but I'm worried that a mediator may be biased towards my spouse. If you do the mediation, will you really hear my side of the story?
Answer: Whoever the mediating parties are - whether a divorcing couple, siblings with an estate conflict or family members dissolving a business - each party to the mediation will have an opportunity to explain his or her individual perspective. It is part of Ms. Wasserman's role as mediator to allow time for this, to listen attentively to each party and to help the parties listen to each other. Ms. Wasserman has extensive training on the subject of neutrality, including gender neutrality, and she knows how essential it is that she not judge the parties or choose sides. She will appreciate the emotional and financial complexities of your situation and will use the mediation process to gain an understanding based on real issues, not surface impressions.
Answer: Participants in the divorce mediation process often wonder ... should they keep the discussion of issues going between sessions ... or is it advisable to call a halt to outside discussion? The answer is: it depends. Most often, the parties to the mediation are well-guided by their own instincts in this area. Parties uncertain about the wisdom of outside communication, or the limits to set, will find guidelines evolving as the mediation proceeds, and, in any event, can raise the subject in mediation. If the parties want to communicate constructively between sessions, their mediator will encourage them to go ahead and try. But for divorcing couples with an especially volatile relationship, the mediator may discourage outside discussion of the issues -- between some sessions, at least.
Answer: Mediation is sometimes entered into by a married couple with the express intention of reducing conflict in their marriage. This type of mediation is often referred to as "marital mediation" Marital mediation is different from psychological counseling and is not a substitute for counseling. Marital mediation, like other mediation, has a practical, agreement-oriented and detail-oriented focus. In marital mediation, once a couple identifies specific areas of conflict to work on, they can use the mediation process to find points of agreement and negotiate conflict-reducing resolutions. Throughout the process of marital mediation, the couple will be developing and practicing cooperative, respectful, constructive ways of communicating and reaching accord. (For more information on marital mediation, see the Articles section of this website.)
Copyright © 2002-2009 Marion Lee Wasserman
